Servers are human too...

Can I get some bread?

2008-07-29T01:34:00.000-07:00

I cringe every time I hear those words. What do we look like, the fucking bakery? Really, everything is ala carte in most places, what makes you entitled to some bread? Are you that special that you deserve royal treatment?

Anyhow, these were a few videos I stumbled on while scanning YouTube for serving related videos. Can I get some bread is a very nicely produced mini-film very similar to "Waiting" but a little bit more vile at the end. It's borderline racist at best.

I also liked this video, despite the bad quality and use of your own imagination to make the scenery work for you. These are things we deal with every day, even if we don't work at Red Lobster. (I never worked at a Red Lobster.)

I can't complain money wise...

2008-07-29T01:26:00.000-07:00

...but I can sure complain sanity wise. After a full year and a half, I am back. I am working in a corner restaurant bar and grill, or should I say, lack of. Nothing peeves me more than outdoor dining...NOTHING!

As much as I hated the outdoor cess pool at my old chain restaurant, I hate it even more where I am now. One of the biggest peeves has to be the fact that I am not only the bartender on duty, but sometimes also the manager and server on duty. Rather than just make things easy, our bosses will not allow us to write "Seat yourself" on our black board. Instead, when I am doing at least two of the three above tasks, I am interrupted by some person who looks like a deer in headlights who asks sheepishly "can we have a table outside?" I tell them "I'll be right out there, sit anywhere you'd like" only to be told a number of drinks and things I can get them while I am busy making things for my other guests. A simple thing, a blackboard, "SEAT YOURSELF." What is so hard or uninviting about that? At the chain restaurant, once we started doing that, we eliminated the problem of people sitting down at tables that still had money and dirty plates, utensils, and glasses on it. Of course, that was after we added that "at a clean table" to the end of the invitation. Either way, as uninviting as it sounds, it's a little less annoying to deal with than being interrupted every five minutes during a dinner rush for some idiot who can't figure out that the other twenty five people have seated themselves and were greeted by the waiter or waitress who is walking around.

Another highly annoying peeve is the people who are seated outside and insist on coming into the restaurant to pay their bill by handing it off to anyone on duty as their server is coming outside to pick up the payment. There is no cash register for the servers, and if you bother the bartender, you're only taking away from their main focus. People reading this, grow some patience. Your credit card and the bill will still be there in five minutes. If you're in a rush to see a movie, eat after the movie.

Back to square one

2007-11-08T16:57:00.000-08:00

That's right folks! I'm back in serving action. I will have some more tales from the restaurant coming your way within a matter of days. It feels almost good to be back...

It's been a long time folks...

2007-02-27T13:53:00.000-08:00

That's right, I'm still here, and once again, serving food. It really isn't so bad right now because I am in a place where I seem to be well appreciated by both the staff and those dining. I am still working in a corporate chain restaurant, so the fun never ends! Birthday songs and free refills ahoy!

I have also made this blog now open to comments from anyone who views this site. Please feel free to leave comments, even though I might not write back, I will read each and every one of them.

I had a few memorable tips in my restaurant that I just feel the need to proclaim:

$5 on $50 from 2 women and a baby who asked me to bag up their leftover mashed potatoes and cut up chicken tenders with ketchup all over them. They also left me a wonderful mess of napkins underneath the table. What fun!

$3 on $60 from a couple who just had to have a frozen margarita when our bartender got slammed with a whole bar full of people and a few tables. I knew I was in for it when they handed me $70 and asked me for change. That really helps me pay my bills!

$8 on $85 from a party of 7 college kids. Usually the college kids are pretty good tippers, but these ones were just flat out annoying with the "Uhhhh where's our refills???" All they had to do was ask for one in the first place and I would've gladly gotten it. A comment like that is just assuming that I am a mind reader and realize you need a refill everytime your cup gets half full. Sheesh...It must be nice to have a Saturday or Sunday off and be able to go out to lunch with friends while screwing up a server's rotation because there are so many of you without a guaranteed gratuity.

The fun never ends in these parts, and I can only hope that the rest of the Spring season goes well and provides me with less stories to write about.

Yes, I'm still here...

2006-12-15T03:24:00.000-08:00

And I still have plenty to bitch and moan about...

So after being declined the opportunity to upgrade, I took a downgrade. Yes everyone, Expeditors are Human too... and I say that with several months of torture and agony behind me. While working in the kitchen I often wonder just who is sitting at these tables that I am sending the food out to. As I fill the little cups of sauce, I wonder if those chicken salads with "Extra Dressing on Side" belong to some of the worthless pieces of human waste who have left me a $2 tip on an $80 tab in the past. Still, I work hard to maintain "Quality Control" as my managers say it is. The more and more broke I become, the more I long to serve again on occasion. It will come soon enough... I will now go on to write about the last night I served tables back in September of 2006.

I had an above average night. It made me feel good that I was asked to serve instead of Expedite. For the most part the tips were good, the staff was steady, and the managers were laid back. Around 9PM I recieved the kiss of death table. Yes, they were a table I've had before...total trash that can make even Spiderman go dizzy....

I greeted these fine people and quickly got their drinks: Four diet colas, four waters, a plate of lemons, and two cups of ice on the side. They then ordered only French onion soups for two of the adults, and full country chicken meals and chicken fingers for the ones who spoke. That night, since I was serving, we had no expediter, so it was up to the servers to pull the food, garnish it, and send it out. Of course, all of my stuff came out on time, but things were missing. As soon as I walked over to the table I glanced and noticed what was missing....and then it happened....

The wonderful guest with the bad mullet informed me that I "FORGOT" some things, so she took it upon herself to write a list on a napkin of all of the things I "FORGOT."

1 cup of honey mustard
napkins (sorry honey, you have to ask for those)
1 ramekin of cole slaw
garlic toast (did not come with her meal)

...and then she asked me for a side of mashed potatoes and how much they would cost. I quickly said that since I normally work in the kitchen, I can get a side of mashed potatoes for free. She then asked me for 4 sides of them. Ouch! How the hell am I supposed to sneak out 4 sides of mashed potatoes for free in front of my manager?

Needless to say... I got it for them, assured them that I didn't "FORGET" any items and that it was merely a mistake on the part of whoever sent out the food and then was thanked over and over by them.

Thanks for the $1 tip assholes.

:)

Now you're fucking famous.

Restaurant Jobs - When to bury the hatchet?

2006-07-24T02:12:00.000-07:00

Like any job, restaurant jobs can either be fun or your worst enemy. I will admit, when I started at my restaurant, it was a new, fun, and exciting atmosphere. The money was good, my co-workers became my family, and the clientel was decent. Forward 3 years, and the clientel is hit or miss. This automatically makes all of the other pros become void.

When should you bury the hatchet?

If you're like me, you're working a server to make money. That is why people get jobs; to pay the bills. If you can't cover your living expenses but are comfortable at a job, pick up a second job or move on to something with better pay. A restaurant will function without you. You are only a number (literally, just look at your employee ID and how impersonal it is.) I am so sick of hearing people complain that they are not making money and then doing nothing about it. There are options out there!

Craigslist.org - A great place to start looking for jobs. Private restaurants usually pay a better wage for servers and often have less tip out than corporate dining.

Bartending schools - A good way to become a bartender, but only do one that has job placement.

I am convinced that Monster.com and Hotjobs.com are full of scams, so stay away from those.

HCareers.com - Restaurant/Hospitality jobs with online applications (some casual dining.)

Hopefully I've covered some of the things to keep you from being as miserable as I am in my current state.

Maybe I shouldn't be this bitter?

2006-07-24T02:01:00.000-07:00

$117 on $1,366.xx in sales. Ouch.

What seemed like a night that was going fairly well, turned into shit. I have the anti-midas touch when it comes to turning things to shit. It started off with some $5 on $80's and a few $2 on $40's. Overall, my food was coming out as ordered, everything was timely, and I can't say I was in the weeds at all despite not being used to closing. By the end of the night I had witnessed quite a few of the most annoying things you can do to a server.

I had a guy who anytime he wanted a refill (mind you him and his friends sat in my section for 2+ hours and left me $2 on $65) point at the glass. I really should've been like "Why are you pointing at your glass?" To me this is one of the rudest and most inconsiderate gestures ever. It's almost as bad as finger snapping and that "come to me" closing and opening of the hand gesture.

I also had a table that had small children who felt it was a good idea to turn quesadillas into confetti. They threw bread pieces all over the whole section. Boy was this fun cleaning up at the end of the night!

Let's not forget the people who wanted to send back their frozen mixed drinks claiming there wasn't enough alcohol in it. For one, I am a trained and certified bartender, just not at our restaurant. I know for a fact that there is 1oz of alcohol in that drink. Most chain restaurants will mix the liquor in the blender, whereas a bar will pour the liquor in the glass and put the frozen mix over it in a cocktail glass. The reason a chain restaurant does this is so that you can just barely taste the alcohol and will potentially order a second one. In other words, it has enough alcohol in it, GET OVER IT!

I had a few tables ask me to "hook them up" with various food items that they couldn't afford. Thanks for shorting me on the bill too. That really helps me pay my bills.

You have to love those people who will just keep ordering stuff for themselves and their family, but think nothing about how badly you need the money you're working to get. I mean, come on, I make $2.13 an hour! I must be extremely loaded after 13 hours on the floor.

Stories of Feast?

2006-06-27T23:09:00.000-07:00

Tip20.com is probably one of my favorite sites when it comes to hearing people bitch about their bad work environments. They have a forum on there where people can talk about their bad experiences or their good experiences. Stories of Famine are obviously the bad ones, and Stories of Feast are the good ones. The last two shifts have been of feast. I can't complain about any of it. Maybe it's because my co-workers have been reading through these entries, or maybe it's just my server karma finally catching up. (I did shell out over 80 bux in tips in the past 2 weeks, so I would hope so!) Either way, things have been looking up. The summer is coming which of course means all of the kids, but also the busy lunches with graduations and summer birthdays. Only time will tell if the summer will be as much of a success as the last two have been in my restaurant. We shall see...

In Appreciation of my Co-Workers and Managers

2006-06-27T22:41:00.000-07:00

Originally this post was going to be called "Bartenders are human too" as a thank you to a bartender at work who found my blog's name humorous. In all honesty, every single job in the restaurant business sucks. No matter how much you are being paid, you are still dealing with high stress and drama. Sure, people will say "you have that at every job" but they do not know what it is like until they've waited tables or have at least worked in food service.

Here I am going to break down the crucial parts of our restaurant.

Hosts: They deal with the people from the second they enter the door. The host can either make or break the guest's mood. The host's job is to seat the guest(s), talk to them along the way, and let them know any specials of the day/week/month. It may seem easy, but it is extremely stressful when you're in an hour and a half wait and have the same four people coming up every five minutes asking if you skipped their name. How about the people that come fifteen minutes after you called their name and then complain that they didn't hear it? The poor hosts also deal with the crowded waiting area and the fact that they aren't even able to sneak in a bite or a drink for hours at a time while trying to keep the waiting masses calm.

Servers: The servers take a majority of the impact of the restaurant. The server does literally everything for the guest. They are responsible for making that person's experience an enjoyable one. I could go on and on here, but there are plenty of other posts in regards to servers, so I'll spare you.

Bartenders: The bartenders in chain restaurants are responsible for making 95-100% of the non-fountain drinks. Bartenders are often unappreciated in chain restaurants. They do make the most money sometimes, but often have a lot of prep work and closing side work to do that most non-chain bars do. Bartenders have to take care of their own guests while also managing the service bar (tickets that servers ring in for their tables) and sometimes takeout. While this might not sound like a lot of work, imagine having 20-30 bar guests who need refills, 5 tickets of frozen drinks, 3 takeout pickups, and a whole list of people you have to call back to make sure their takeout order was good.

Cooks/Prep/Dishwashers: Another extremely unappreciated job! These are the people who make the restaurant function in the way it does. If the dishwasher stops washing dishes and silverware, your guests don't have plates or silverware. The cooks can also make or break a table. If they don't read the screen or tickets, sometimes things will come out wrong. Cooks are human too! We all make mistakes! It's normal to make a mistake here or there. I consider the ticket/expediter's screen system similar to highway hypnosis. Almost everything on that screen is a repeat of something you've done earlier, so while it is important to pay attention to details, it is natural to sometimes miss the slightest of details. Your cooks make sure your hungry guests are fed, and therefore make sure there is money being placed in your pockets.

Expediters: Expo's are a crucial part of the kitchen. Expo's control how the food is being presented when it leaves the line. The expo is yet another unappreciated job when it comes to food coming out wrong. It is the servers job to ring the order in correctly. It is the expo's job to make sure it comes out as it was rung in on the ticket, correcting the chefs on occasion, or letting a manager know of any potential problems. Once again, expo's are crucial, and like servers, they sometimes forget that you told them a modification after ringing in the food wrong!

Managers: Manager's are extremely underappreciated! They deal with every problem you can think of that nobody else on the staff wants to touch. Angry guests, angry employees, hiring people, terminating people, calling cabs, potentially harmful guests, food allergies, paperwork, ordering supplies, maintenance, inventory, you name it, they deal with it. Sure, the managers have the power, but how do you think they got there? They started in one of the jobs stated above and worked their way up whether it was through hard work or not. They still deal with the worst of the worst situations and often take over when any of the people above can no longer handle the situation.

So in appreciation, this is for all of my co-workers and managers for making my job easier than it could be.

I love old ladies...okay I'm lying...

2006-06-24T17:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was almost like an amusement park ride on the verge of breaking down. Our restaurant was surprisingly very busy for the first time in weeks on a lunch shift. Of course, being that it's graduation time, families are bringing their graduate out for a nice free dessert and a birthday turned into graduation song.

My day started off with the kisses of death themselves. I had just dropped a check on a table and went to greet my new table. Usually when you greet a table, you take a drink and appetizer/soup order. These were the slow answering type who didn't quite know what they wanted. I tried to take just the drink order, but they wouldn't let me leave. I had to sit there and read through the menu with the mother/wife of this family because apparently nobody else at this table knew how to read, not even the graduation boy. The table who I just left the check for needed change of $100 so I had to actually get another server to break the change for me at the bar while this family asked me what came with what and how much everything was even though the prices were in front of their face.

This family ordered steaks for the parents, shrimp in a basket, and a cheeseburger for the kids. I repeated the order back not one, but three times in order to verify what they were ordering was what they really wanted. Sometimes you have to do things like that when someone asks how many ounces each steak are, and how many shrimp come in a basket, if fries are extra on a burger platter, etc. Anyhow, I had three other tables to take care of, so I got their order in and went about my business. These kind of folks are priceless. They consist of kids who don't know how to read the menu themselves, parents who order for their teenagers, and then the wife who orders for the husband and the really sweet and nice husband who can't thank you enough. This wicked witch of a wife called me over to the table every single time I stepped foot into my section. Actually, she didn't call me, she waved her hand and snapped her fingers. After their food had come out, she says to me "I asked for no mushrooms on this steak." So i replied back, no you didn't, I repeated the order three times. You had four chances to tell me that you didn't want mushrooms." In actuality, she probably didn't even read the menu or know what she was ordering. She ordered the largest steak with shrimp combo that we had and had the steak cooked well done. She also complained about the size of the steak. After that incident she snapped her fingers and waved her hands again like she was hailing a cab. I asked her if I could do anything for her and she asked for the side of shrimp she ordered with one of her kids cheeseburger. I told her again that she didn't order a side of shrimp, just a shrimp basket. Her kid looked at me like he had no idea what was going on. I am not a mind reader, so I asked her if she'd like me to ring in a side of shrimp. She said no, so I left again to do sidework and run food. When I was greeting another table, she was waving like she was having a seizure, so I asked my other table to hang on for a minute. She then asked me to ring in the shrimp. I rang them in but when they came out there were literally six to eight shrimps. She complained about the price so I got my manager to greet the table. Then they were fine and dandy...or so I thought.

When I dropped the check, the lady handed me $5. The bill was already at $58. She then asks me to ring in a shrimp basket dinner to go. I gave her a new bill which came out to $68. She paid with a credit card and left nothing extra.

To top that incident off, I got sat with 5 old ladies who complained about the size of the booth. Unfortunately we were on a wait so I couldn't shift them to the other side of the restaurant. They ordered 5 waters with lemons, a pitcher of water with lemons, and 5 bacon cheeseburgers with sauteed onions. Sauteed onions are an upcharge of a measly 75 cents. When I came back with the 5 waters with lemons, one of the ladies says to me "No! I want my cup filled with this much ice and this much water!" So I came back with a glass filled to the top with ice and probably a few ounces of water. I also brought them the pitcher of water which they were very thankful for.

When their food came out they were in heaven. They were chowing down on those burgers like you've never seen someone eat. I swore they were going to eat the wax paper and the burger plate. I asked them how everything was and they said "Absolutely delicious" "Wonderful" "Thank you so much" and other kind words. When I dropped the check, that was another story.

Their bill couldn't have been more than $43. They complained about the $3.75 total upcharge for the sauteed onions on the burger. Then I heard comments like "Those onions weren't even cooked!" "They weren't very good" and other sob stories. My manager didn't want to deal with them, so he comped off the onions. Their bill was now under $40. They did tip me okay, but it was quite the pain ringing in 5 burgers with onions that had to be well cooked and melted under the cheese. After they left I went in the garbage area and saw that those onions were in fact cooked and melted in. Anything to save a buck.

Oh those waters with lemons!

2006-06-22T17:01:00.000-07:00

Summer's here! Yes, you know what that means...More and more teenage girls ordering a water...with a lemon or a plate of lemons! Why on earth is that little piece of lemon so important? Someone please explain this? I still have yet to figure it out because I'll be damned if that little sliver of lemon brings a soda-like flavor to the water without the calories, sugar, and carbohydrates.

I decided to run a test on how many people would ask me for that little lemon after I brought out a water without one. Usually when someone orders a water, you are to assume they want it with a lemon unless they say "no lemon." Well, I reversed it and if they order a water, they get a water with no lemon. On several nights last week I had people say "oh can I get a piece of lemon?" or "can I get a plate of lemons?" Sure, I only made it harder on myself, but this is not something that these people do at home. This is something they've learned while dining. It is quite possibly one of the most annoying little quirks of working in dining. Sure, we're here to please guests, but if you want that lemon in your water, say so while ordering. Also, learn your servers name that way I can tell them to get their own tables a water with a lemon refill while I am running their food. We tell you our name for a reason.

The outdoor cesspool

2006-06-22T16:45:00.000-07:00

The patio lately has been an overflowing trash can of people with no common sense or courtesy. Today I opened which consisted of bring out all of the tables, unstacking those pesky plastic chairs, and then setting them at the tables. It was raining all morning but our company still makes us set up the patio in case of a sudden disappearance of rain clouds. Ironically enough, this is what happened today. While me and my patio partner were pretty set on getting sent home, those two brave people said "we want to sit outside." Mind you, it was also over 95 degrees out. I could feel the swamp ass already. Like the domino effect, every table was soon occupied.

My first table were a party of five, two adults and three kids. They started their afternoon off with some alcoholic beverages, an appetizer, adult sized soft drinks for the kids, and four steak entrees with a double kid meal. Almost immediately after greeting and taking their drink order down, out came the sun. The next question out of their mouth was "can we get an umbrella?" Of course, I have to say yes, so I make my way to the back of the restaurant by the dumpsters to grab an umbrella, just as I am sat with two guys from the offices around the complex. One of them is a parapalegic of some sort. They order a lemonade, an unsweetened iced tea, then also ask for an umbrella, and a dish towel to lay on the guy in the wheelchair's lap. I get the umbrella, their drinks, and went back into the restaurant to get the dish towel. In our restaurant, finding a towel is like finding gold. The guys on the line have access to all of the clean towels they could want, but god forbid a server wants one. We have to go through the process of having a manager open up the closet room to get one. When I came back out, the guy's snooping friend was going through our patio shed looking for a dish towel. I had one in hand. I felt pretty violated that they didn't trust that I was in fact getting them one, and had I had one outside, I wouldn't have taken so long to get one. After that, they order soups in 95 degree weather. I love making soups. So after their soups are out my other table asks me for another drink, which comes out with a hair in it. Comp! So I have to get the bar to remake it, and then they ask for refills for their kids. I get 3 more soft drinks, and when I come back they ask for 5 waters. I get the 5 waters and my other table's food still isn't out. The 2 guys asked me to have their food to-go which results in my managers spazzing out on me. I finally get their food bagged up, and then the other table asks me for one more refill on a soft drink. They then ask me for the check. Needless to say their tip was just around 12%, but I was totally disheartened when I realized that not a single one of them had even touched the waters I brought out. Why ask for something you aren't even going to use?

The rest of my tables were relatively easy going, but our rush died at 1pm. It lasted almost an hour, but that hour was just nonstop crash in every aspect of our restaurant. I helped my patio partner clean up all of their tables and then sent them home. I walked with under $40.

Server Karma

2006-06-20T15:55:00.000-07:00

So you want to know what kind of tipper I am? I believe in generous tipping. I will never leave a tip under $6, no matter how low the bill is. I believe in at least a 25% tip on any check over $30.

A few weeks ago I went to a local diner with a friend of mine for a quick bite. Our tab couldn't have been more than $30. Our waitress (who I left a servers are human too card for) was awesome. She is probably my favorite waitress at this diner just because of how attentive and friendly she is. Anyhow, a table full of rowdy guys sat across from us. They even went as far as asking me what I was eating. They were probably drunk or just flat out rude because they were hassling the waitress for no reason. They ate maybe half of their food. I'm not even sure if they left her a tip on the table. Luckily this was a pay at the register diner. If this was my restaurant they probably would have been a walkout. Anyhow, after their disgusting mess was left behind on the table, our waitress came back to us to make sure everything was okay. While we knew that these guys just walked her like a dog, she didn't let it affect how she was treating us. We dropped a $13 tip, wishing we could afford to drop more. I hope that made her night.

Last week I went to another restaurant in my chain with several friends. Our bill was around $70 after I had my employee discount taken off. We left her a $25 tip. Our server was attentive, polite, and was able to spend a lot of time talking to us as she had no other tables. It was a really pleasant experience and I would definately go back and ask for her to be my server.

Last week I also went out for Sushi at a fairly high volume place. In some sushi restaurants, there is relatively no tipout, so a 15% tip is usually appreciated. That's not good enough for me. Our bill came out to $32, we left at least an $8 tip.

Father's day...Need I say more?

2006-06-20T15:31:00.000-07:00

At our restaurant, it is almost expected to be very busy on the holidays. In fact, our restaurant on a weeknight used to be packed like the holidays at my old restaurant, but something has gone wrong. Our restaurant has lost its spark.

If there's one thing I hate, it's serving on days like Mother's day and Father's day. For as long as I can remember, I've always had to work these two Hallmark holidays while leaving my parents an IOU on the table.

My night started off with an extremely steady rotation of tables. I had a lot of $20 tips on bills $100 and lower. Even the highest bill of $115 landed me a $20 tip. By 7PM I realized I had hit close to $200 in tips before tipout. I just had to maintain the 15-20% tips to keep a good portion of this money.

At $1700 in sales, I walked with $217 after tipping out $20 to the food runner who well deserved the money. I did fairly well for what is usually considered a trash type of day at work.

Now for the people who really stood out...(did you really think I would have nothing to complain about?)

After my crashing for two hours last week over one table of old people, they once again came back and graced my section inside the restaurant. These folks ordered the same drinks as last week but also added in one of the new promo drinks. They order everything with house liquor which is garbage and tastes like pure rubbing alcohol, but that's their problem, not mine. They make a point of it to only give them house liquor because they don't want to pay for good liquor. I greeted them, and was only recognized by half of the table. The old Cryptkeeper look alike old lady greeted me back with "listen, we're not in a rush, i'm going to say this again, we're not in a rush, we're not ready, come back and take our drink order, we don't want to be rushed." Smiling at her, I said "Okay" and walked away. I took care of greeting and serving four other tables with drinks before returning. I took down her heavily modified vodka & tonic with the tonic on the side and a lime twist, and the rest of the table's house drinks and put them in. I then waited about 40 minutes to put in their food order after crashing the entire kitchen last week by having to cancel their order for 40 minutes because one of these old ladies took that long to eat a house salad and didn't want her food served until her salad was finished. When their food was out, I did a check back on the table and everything was fine. The Cryptkeeper then looked at my nametag and remembered who I was from last week. She apologized for yelling at me several times about not being in a rush. Gee, thanks, I only heard it several times last week. Anyhow, their $10 on $50 was worth the hassle, and gave me a lot of time to talk to my other guests who left me $20 on their checks in that hour.

Later on in the night I had a guest order the $6.95 cheeseburger, and would only allow her children to order fountain drinks because they could get free refills.

I also had a guy and his girlfriend camp for two hours, sent 2 appetizers back because they got cold while they both took trips to the bathroom, and complained about various minor things. They also found ways to special modify the simplest of things. They left me $3 on $68.

For the most part, the shift wasn't so bad despite the few people who worked my nerves.

Just when I thought I had seen everything...

2006-06-15T21:58:00.000-07:00

Every week I work several shifts on our outside patio. The patio has it's ups and downs, mostly ups considering there is minimal sidework, easy going and relaxed diners, and the fact that you can smoke at a table. Since our state passed the anti-smoking law, the patio has become the hot spot for campers and old ladies. Usually the outside crowd is pretty laid back, but lately it's just been a glorified trash bin.

Just when I thought I had seen everything, a table snaps their fingers at me and calls "mita!" Of course, our area is densely populated with Spanish speaking people, so I turned around and said "I'll be right with you" as I scribbled orders down for the table I was currently talking to. If this wasn't enough, they then played musical chairs for several minutes until getting the right seat and placement. I greeted them, took their drink order, rang in their orders correctly, and then went to the kitchen to make their sodas. On the way inside, one of the men at the table asked me to bring a ramekin of warm milk out. When I asked why, he showed me a tiny kitten curled up in a shirt on the table. I suggested he go down to the pet store around the complex to buy a bottle of kitten formula, but he insisted he knew what he was doing with the milk. Thinking of my tip and the price of their bill, I got him the milk.

When I returned to the table after the entrees were run, one of the guests mentioned that his rice didn't come with his meal, so I offered to just get him the side of rice. He shouts "I don't want these vegetables touching my steak!" I took his steak back to the kitchen to have it replated without the veggies. Out it went. When I got back to the table, Mr. I know how to be a good server though I'm a shitty guest complained that there was no silverware. I dropped down 5 rollups, then in his fit of rage, he managed to knock over two beverages on to his lap. What do they do? They get up from this table and go over to another table in my section, leaving a dirty table behind that I now have to clean up before I can be resat. These geniuses then complained that they didn't like the breaded shrimp, so I offered to bring out some grilled ones. They agreed, and then right after I rang them in, they cancelled the order. I figured at this point it wasn't worth upsetting my other guests over, so I just flat out ignored them until the check time came. The check turned out to be $52, in which they handed me a $100 bill. They asked for $45 in change. I thanked them for their business. I don't need their money.

On top of that incident, I also got sat with the same woman who fell asleep in a co-workers section last week. She ordered a salad with about 8 lines of special modifications, ate 3 large ramekins of balsamic glaze dressing, and then ordered a hot tea. She left me $3 on $10, so that was okay. I'd much rather deal with the sleepyhead lady than the table full of guys who only speak English when they want to complain.

Why are old people so complicated?

2006-05-29T23:26:00.000-07:00

There is nothing more fantastic than waiting on old people. They are the #1 distributers of the "oral tip," ala telling you how wonderful you are and then leaving you a low tip as a bonus to their kind words. Every single table of old people that I get seems to follow the same routine. Anyhow, here are some of the really annoying and repetitive things to expect when serving shrivs.

Discounts/Coupons - Mondays are our restaurant's old people friendly day. Unlike the normal grimey waste of life people that use comps and voids to their advantage, shrivs get a nice 10% off discount if they show us a card indicating that they are ready to die soon. We then have to hound down a manager and actually pretend we care that they are old and that they are going to cut our tip down by 10%.

Hot tea/coffee, soups - Old people hate cold beverages because they are rotting away and might freeze to death, so they need everything very warm. They seem to have lost the feeling in their mouths, so the hot beverages stimulate their taste buds so they can once again eat food. Often, you will serve them hot tea with regular milk instead of creamers. Regular milk actually requires effort, being that it has to be poured. In some restaurants, you have to ask the bartender for milk. What a waste of time for a low tip. To top that off, shrivs often order soup and then have the nerve to complain about the the soups being cold. One time I took the thermometer out to the table and took the soup's temperature at a whopping 183 degrees! My guess is that this shriv was too caught up on their hot tea to realize that the soup was also very hot, but seemed only warm because of the temperature of their hot beverage.

Water with everything - Any shriv that orders a soda, a cocktail, even a hot beverage has a 95% chance of ordering a water to go along with their drink. The other 5% order a water with a lemon.

Special modifications - Old people hate spices! They hate anything that will rupture their little tummy in any way so they stick to the classics. They even find ways to modify a house salad! I have this one old couple come in every week (usually Tuesday lunch) and order a salad with just lettuce and oil and vinegar. Wow, that's a great salad! Tonight I witnessed a server entering about 10-15 lines of special modifications to a shrimp salad that already has nothing in it. The old bag then called our kitchen manager out to talk to him about the dressing, and how she had the same salad last night, the same way and got this mysterious dressing that we never had in stock. She then proceeded to fall asleep at the table for about an hour...What a camper!

Nasty faces - Shrivs make nasty faces whenever something isn't to their liking. It's not our fault that the guys in the kitchen didn't cook the blood out of the steak. No problem though, we'll fix it! "No, I'll eat it the way it is." Old people would rather complain about every bite than let you fix a kitchen error.

Bathrooms - Shrivs hate dirty bathrooms. Even if there is one piece of paper hanging out of the trash can, they will complain that the bathroom is dirty. I still have never seen an old person use soap in our bathroom, but you know damn well they are watching us to make sure we wash our hands.

Sweet N Lows/Equals - For a while in our restaurant we only stocked sweet n low, but now we stock equal after two years of asking for it. Now, people want splendas. Miraculously, nobody in their right mind uses this nasty stuff other than fat women on diets or old people. I just love it when at the end of the night I have to fill up a sugar caddy that I know was hijacked by some old person who couldn't afford to buy a box of equal for their coffee at home.

Grandkids - It's always a grandkids birthday when grandma and grandpa bring the kiddies out to eat! Be prepared for balloons and birthday songs!

Don't forget the coffee refills. Old people love the endless cup of coffee. Make sure it's fresh too because they will ask you to throw on a new pot of decaf.

Inappropriate accenting of words that are blatantly in English on the menu...

2006-05-27T19:14:00.000-07:00

Today several of the other servers were talking about mispronounciations that guests make in regards to some of the items on the menu. Here are a couple that are worth laughing about:

Sirloin - Sir-Loin
We often hear Sir-Leon, Sar-Leon, or Ser-line

Cajun - Cage-un
We often hear Cah-hune

This is not hard here, this is simple English. I just hate having to ask an English speaking guest to point at the menu so I can figure out what it is they are trying to order.

Can I get more of the white sauce?

2006-05-27T19:08:00.000-07:00

One of the most annoying things about my restaurant is the fact that they are extremely stingy when it comes to giving out certain sauces. For wings, they give a tiny ramekin of blue cheese, and for one of our salad's, they kind of pour the dressing into the bottom of the bowl and plop the salad on top of it. Dropping off either of these two things always follows with a "can I get some more of the white sauce?" It's not such a bad thing at all though, I must admit, I love extra sauce on certain things. We're all human here, or else I wouldn't be arguing that servers are human too, but most of the time I will ask for an extra sauce if I have run out of the first, or was on the verge of running out. These people ask for it as soon as you get there, which is also fine, if they are going to use it. Hey, they could even be saving you the trouble from getting it later, but nothing is more disheartening than when you get a really low tip on a table that ran you around for sauces, sour cream, extra sodas, and useless things that they never ended up even touching! You better believe that these people will lick every ounce of sour cream out of a ramekin when you let them know that they were charged for it, but they will continue to ask for excess of any free sauce just because they can, not because they really need it.

Sometimes my job isn't so bad...

2006-05-25T22:55:00.000-07:00

Last night was an exceptional night. For the first time ever, I was thanked formally for singing the birthday song, not by the people who asked me to sing it, but by the birthday girl. She was young and looking forward to us coming and singing to her. It was a legit birthday and when the little girl came up to me without her parents having told her to, in order to thank me, I could only say "thank you sweetie, you're the first person to ever thank me for singing the birthday song."

After their table I had a few nice tips from easy going guests. One tip was $8 on a $30 tab, which was totally shocking but a really really nice surprise. I then proceeded to get less than 10% tips from the rest of my tables until that one last table came to sit down in my section.

They started off extremely friendly and nice, knowing what they wanted without even seeing a menu. They were chatty, humorous (in the good non-corny way) and caring of their kids. They asked if I had a sweater or anything of my own I could lend their little girl, but unfortunately I left my sweatshirt in my car a few parking lots away, so I ventured throughout the restaurant looking for someone to loan me something. I ended up not finding anything but another guest joined their table and brought a sweatshirt for the girl to wear. Their food came out fairly quick and they ordered some more drinks and another kid meal. I really didn't seem to worry about these folks, and when they asked for the check I already had it on hand. They were really pleasant and didn't run me around at all. The bill was around $59 and change, they left me $100.

While I don't feel I deserved that large of a tip for such little work, these people must see something in another way. Who knows, maybe they have served themselves or just know how it works. Either way, they made me a very happy person last night, and I can't even think of any other way to thank them other than writing about it in this blog.

9% Sunday Lunch?

2006-05-21T17:13:00.000-07:00

Apparently Sunday is the day for trash to come out to eat. If you think about it, it's Sunday dinner and you want to take the family out. My family would go to a nice sit down restaurant that serves bread and salad with the meal, and leave a nice fat 25-30% tip for the server who probably didn't work half as hard as I do in the corporate chain restaurant. Anyhow, it's Sunday lunch and after a long and well earned broken sleep, I exhaustedly drove out to my job this morning. Aside from the Sunday drivers (and there were a ton of them) there was a huge motorcycle gang which also happened to get off of my exit and managed to all cut in front of me so that I got stuck at the light. I already should have seen this as a kiss of death.

For the most part, the beginning tables were easy going, mostly families with young kids. Aside from having to handle my tables, sidework, and dealing with hunger while serving food, I also had to train a new manager in training how to be a server. Luckily, he was already experienced as a server (most MIT's are cooks or bartenders it seems) so I thought this was going to be an easy shift.

My first bad table was a husband and wife with their bratty little girl. They must have been straight from Europe because I could barely understand a word they were saying. Anyhow, I let them point to things on the menu and out went a Grey Goose martini, a kid lemonade, and a pint of Guiness. The lady sent back the martini saying it was "too strong." I took the drink back to the bartender and asked him to put it in a shaker. He threw the shaker at me and left me to fend for myself. The couple ordered their food and I made sure to check on them often. They were pretty cool after that and asked me to wrap up their leftovers. They then gave me a $50 and I went to get change for the $48.20 check. I figured they needed the $1.80 back so they could drop me a tip from money they already had. When I turned around they were leaving. Ouch.

The next bad table was a group of 3 girls who were waiting for the 4th person to show. Like always, the 4th never showed. They all had "water with lemon" and ordered entrees, all with special modifications. When they were done eating, I wrapped up the girls food, making sure to give her little cups of each of the sauces that she asked for. They then proceeded to camp in my section for over an hour and left me $3 on $30. Come again!

I love making $27 on over $300 in sales.

I'll have a water...with a lemon...

2006-05-20T03:20:00.000-07:00

I cannot even think of a time when I was at home and put a slice of lemon in my water. I honestly doubt that 95% of the people who ask for a lemon with their water ever put a slice of lemon in their water at home. Is there something special about having a little sliver of citrus in your water just because you are eating out? Tap water is free at our restaurant. Our company's standard for guests who order water is a plain tumbler glass filled with ice and water. We aren't even supposed to provide guests who order only a water a straw, let alone a lemon slice. Lemon slices are meant for diet cola, hot tea, and sometimes espresso according to our standard. I've also noticed that "water with lemon" is popular among the female guests more so than the males. Is there some new diet fad that involves "water with lemon" or is it just the fact that they can swindle a free beverage with a slight flavor without paying $2.09 for a Pepsi or Coke?

The best has to be the folks who order waters and a plate of lemons. I have actually witnessed people who have ordered already half priced appetizers and waters with plates of lemons so that they could make their own lemonade at the table! Sure, our restaurant is extremely skimpy on the lemonade, which is 90% ice and about 10% concentrate and flavor, but come on! Half price appetizers and $0.00 beverages? We do deserve to make some money for the running around we have to do during the half priced time! Most of the time people who order half priced food leave half priced tips after making you cut a new tray of lemons so that they can avoid paying for a lemonade. Come on now...

10 percent on a Friday night...

2006-05-20T02:46:00.000-07:00

When you work at a corporate restaurant chain, there is no possible way to get away with upsetting your guests. The management will do anything to keep even the worst of customers from never returning. A guest lost is considered a crime to many of the franchise owners in the casual dining industry...you know, the people who don't quite deal with the types of people who manage to put you in the weeds for hours after they have left the building. Apparently their hard earned dollars being spent on microwaved and deep fried food is more important than your integrity and work ethic as a server. We as servers need to make a living too.

It seems that a lot of customers not only do not know how to tip, but also do not realize that there are such things as tipouts, taxes, minimum wage, and teamwork. The mere fact that servers in corporate chains and often mom & pop style restaurants only make a measly $2.13 an hour is not stated when a guest walks through the door. At the moment of the initial greet, as a server, it's incredibly hard to not have a preconcieved notion that you are either going to get a great tip, an average tip, or no tip at all.

Tonight I had some kids ring up a $50 check. They got refills, extra sides, extra sauces, and anything else they asked for. When it came time for the check they paid with a credit card. As they were leaving, they laughed and signed the credit card slip. When I picked up the slip there was a dash through the tip line and no money on the table. For about a half an hour these kids hung out in the patio area outside chatting with some friends. If I were to ask them if there was anything wrong with the service or in any way dispute the fact that I just paid $2.00 out of my pocket in tipshare for them to eat when I should have gotten at least a $7.50 tip (at 15% when the standard is now about 18%) I could have risked losing my job. Instead, I kept my cool for a few minutes and then proceeded out the front door. I waved to the kid who paid the bill and said to him "Thank you, and take care." They laughed. Little did they know that they robbed me of an hour and a half of my time at a table I could've rotated twice. They also did not care. Maybe they think that servers get paid hourly? This is something I will never quite understand. On top of their lack of a tip, most of my tips for the night were less than 10%. The few really great tips I recieved all seemed to make up for the bad tips leaving me at 10% of my sales after tipping out $60 in tipshare and dropping another $20 for the food runner.

Sometimes I think to myself "is this all worth it?" I could be working a 9-5 job where I am getting hourly pay and benefits, but I choose the flexibility of serving because I am still in school. For the most part, serving food is a gratifying job. When my guests feel good, I feel good. When my guests are rude or are complainers, I feel distressed. Tonight I sent back several items to the kitchen, mostly things that were just flat out caused by kitchen neglect. It felt good to know that none of these things were in my error, but the guests don't seem to think this way. I don't cook their food, I just ring it in on a computer and sometimes run it to their table. We have a runner system where everyone works as a team. When something comes out wrong, the server gets blamed. There's nothing I hate more than someone complaining that their steak came out wrong when I rang it in correctly and the guest lowers my tip because of a kitchen error. The kitchen still makes the same money in salary no matter what goes wrong. Why can't servers at least make the money they deserve?

I wish an automatic gratuity law would go into effect sometimes. There are restaurants in New York City that add an automatic gratuity due to the large amount of tourists in the area. At least the servers who work in those restaurants can be guaranteed to make a certain percent of their sales per night. Our restaurant is very hit or miss. I can't understand how I can walk with 30% of my sales on a Monday night when the restaurant is extremely slow and only make about 8-10% on a weekend when the movie theatre next door is overflowing into our restaurant. I just hope that someday the corporate owners of some of these chains will take into consideration the hard working people that make their restaurants so successful and give great service so that the guests will keep returning for more microwaved and deep fried food.

Some of the most annoying things you can put your server through...

2006-05-19T03:28:00.000-07:00

Please don't snap your fingers.

Why ask for a cup of hot water to soak your silverware? Hot water isn't sanitizing.

I hate that squiggly sign in the air thing indicating that you want the check.

Don't ask for something, and when your server comes back, ask for another of the same thing, and on and on....make it easy, ask for everything at once, but make sure it's your server you ask. Asking other servers only makes it more difficult for them to take care of their tables.

Please, please, please, don't ask for the soup of the day 10 minutes before last call. The soup is nasty at the end of the night. I'm only saving you the indigestion.

This also goes for salads. We close the salad area up and then have to run around like a chicken with no head at last call trying to find things like tomatoes and cucumbers.

Don't ask us to have the bartender "hook up" your drink. Everything is measured and is very textbook according to prep. If you want your drink "hooked up," go to a real bar, not a family restaurant.

Don't call us "waitress/waiter" or "server." We tell you our name for a reason. If I run something to another servers table and the guest asks me for something, I usually ask them what their servers name is to see if they were paying attention. This helps me to decide whether getting them a side of blue cheese that they aren't even going to touch is worth crashing over or not.

Don't write all over the check how horrible I was while I had 8 tables and then call up my managers to complain. You've already made my night terrible by writing me a bad note because I couldn't get you all of the sides that you didn't need or touch quick enough.

If I am a good server, thank me in your tip. Don't tell me how great I am and then leave me 4 on 80. I tip out a percent of my sales. Like you, I need to eat and pay my bills too.

Please don't leave me your phone number either, especially after a 5% tip.

If you're not going to tip me on a high check, make sure you never show your face again. If I see you again, I am going to hold the door for you while you exit the restaurant on your next visit, and I will call you out on it without violating company policy. (Yes I have done this before)

Don't tell me everything is okay and then sing a sad song to my manager for free food. Not only are you making yourself a laughing stock of the waitstaff, but you're also cutting into my comp cost for the night, and also cutting my potential tip in half.

Don't order alcohol and think that I'm not going to ID you because I will.

If you order a soda, there is no reason why you should need a water with it. There's also no reason why a party of 4 needs 4 waters and 4 soft drinks. If I drank 64 ounces of liquid in less than an hour I'd be peeing like a racehorse.

Hot tea......need I say more?

Slip Resistant Shoes - Reviews

2006-05-19T03:01:00.000-07:00

Slip Resistant footwear is quite possibly any server or kitchen staff's best friend in a high volume restaurant. I must have gone through about 10 pairs of Slip Resistant shoes in my first year of serving. Trying different pairs gave me the opportunity to find a style and fit that I liked, but also while also spending several days worth of tips in the process. Below I have chosen to review a few of the pairs of Slip Resistant shoes that have really stood out in my past few years of serving.

The first pair of non-slip shoes I purchased was in October of 2003. They were from Payless shoes and were one of their generic no-name brands with their patented nonslip grids on the bottom. These shoes were not only ugly, but they weighed a ton. These were the women's design, which more or less looked like a super bulky running shoe with cheap plastic flaps hanging from the sides. I ended up getting stuck at my first serving job late that night and missed the last bus. I walked 4 miles to the next town to catch a late bus, and boy did my feet hurt. These shoes were just not fit enough to wear outside of the restaurant. I give them a 1 for comfort, and 10 for the non-slip tread being so well made.

The next pair of non-slip shoes I purchased was in February 2004. I purchased the TX-Traction women's shoes from Famous Footwear. These shoes seemed like they were very well made and featured a super cusioned insole with a raised section on the heel. After my first serving shift at the new high volume restaurant I still work at to this day, my feet were burning. I wore these shoes for a few more weeks before tossing them in the garbage. I learned recently that TX is now in with Dr. Scholls, so maybe their shoes have some more comfort? I give these shoes a 1 for comfort and a 5 for the slip resistant bottoms not being reliable when there is food stuck in the grooves.

After my battle with the TX's, I bought a smaller pair of men's Payless velcro non-slips. These shoes were extremely comfortable compared to the women's Payless shoes. The added bonus was the fact that I never had to bend over and tie them. Instead, I dealt with ridicule from the rest of the wait staff for wearing shoes for a 5 year old, but what can I say? These shoes still have not done me wrong. They clean up nicely, and I never slip no matter how much mashed potato and sour cream I have stepped on in the garbage area. I give these shoes an 8 for comfort only because they sometimes stress out my toes and a 10 for the non-slip tread being the most reliable tread once again. Go payless!

In April 2004 I made the mistake of leaving my velcro shoes in another state 4 hours away with my family who wouldn't be home for another two weeks. Ironically enough, I was driving home for a 3:45 pm shift and had already been about an hour into my trip home so I decided it would be a waste of time and gas to head back for a pair of $20 shoes. When I made it relatively close to my job, I stopped at a Payless in the mall for another pair of my velcro wonders. Instead, I ended up having to buy a pair of mens' tie up Slip Resistant shoes that were a size or two too big. These shoes lasted me two years before I finally had to throw them out because of the smell of rotten food and green mold making me sick. I give these shoes a 10 for never hurting my feet or letting me down.

Through all of this I have also purchased other pairs of Slip-Resistant shoes from Kmart and Payless, including the new and updated version of the women's non-slip shoe. Payless is doing a good job at trying to fix the women's version of the shoe, but it still feels uncomfortable on my flat feet, so I tend to stick with the men's shoes.

As for now, I still wear the velcro shoes. They are starting to wear down on the upper parts now, so I am going to invest in a pair of Shoes For Crews as they are now available at my job. I've been hearing great things about them from the servers at my job who have purchased them. They even have a pair that resembles Converse All Stars and offer them in both Hi and Low top. I am going to look into a pair of those or a pair that resembles Converse Chuck Purcells. Until then, I hope you enjoyed my shoe review!

Thank you for being my guest!

2006-05-19T02:39:00.000-07:00

Hello fellow readers! This is going to be a blog for servers, waitstaff, bussers, cooks, managers, and restaurant staff alike! I am going to cover all of the fun experiences of serving in a chain-restaurant as well as some of the important things such as food safety, tip research, how to handle angry guests, and more. I do hope that you enjoy this blog and take advantage of some of the information provided in my future posts as well as enjoy the humor that will go with all of those bad guest stories.