The outdoor cesspool

The patio lately has been an overflowing trash can of people with no common sense or courtesy. Today I opened which consisted of bring out all of the tables, unstacking those pesky plastic chairs, and then setting them at the tables. It was raining all morning but our company still makes us set up the patio in case of a sudden disappearance of rain clouds. Ironically enough, this is what happened today. While me and my patio partner were pretty set on getting sent home, those two brave people said "we want to sit outside." Mind you, it was also over 95 degrees out. I could feel the swamp ass already. Like the domino effect, every table was soon occupied.

My first table were a party of five, two adults and three kids. They started their afternoon off with some alcoholic beverages, an appetizer, adult sized soft drinks for the kids, and four steak entrees with a double kid meal. Almost immediately after greeting and taking their drink order down, out came the sun. The next question out of their mouth was "can we get an umbrella?" Of course, I have to say yes, so I make my way to the back of the restaurant by the dumpsters to grab an umbrella, just as I am sat with two guys from the offices around the complex. One of them is a parapalegic of some sort. They order a lemonade, an unsweetened iced tea, then also ask for an umbrella, and a dish towel to lay on the guy in the wheelchair's lap. I get the umbrella, their drinks, and went back into the restaurant to get the dish towel. In our restaurant, finding a towel is like finding gold. The guys on the line have access to all of the clean towels they could want, but god forbid a server wants one. We have to go through the process of having a manager open up the closet room to get one. When I came back out, the guy's snooping friend was going through our patio shed looking for a dish towel. I had one in hand. I felt pretty violated that they didn't trust that I was in fact getting them one, and had I had one outside, I wouldn't have taken so long to get one. After that, they order soups in 95 degree weather. I love making soups. So after their soups are out my other table asks me for another drink, which comes out with a hair in it. Comp! So I have to get the bar to remake it, and then they ask for refills for their kids. I get 3 more soft drinks, and when I come back they ask for 5 waters. I get the 5 waters and my other table's food still isn't out. The 2 guys asked me to have their food to-go which results in my managers spazzing out on me. I finally get their food bagged up, and then the other table asks me for one more refill on a soft drink. They then ask me for the check. Needless to say their tip was just around 12%, but I was totally disheartened when I realized that not a single one of them had even touched the waters I brought out. Why ask for something you aren't even going to use?

The rest of my tables were relatively easy going, but our rush died at 1pm. It lasted almost an hour, but that hour was just nonstop crash in every aspect of our restaurant. I helped my patio partner clean up all of their tables and then sent them home. I walked with under $40.