Just when I thought I had seen everything...

Every week I work several shifts on our outside patio. The patio has it's ups and downs, mostly ups considering there is minimal sidework, easy going and relaxed diners, and the fact that you can smoke at a table. Since our state passed the anti-smoking law, the patio has become the hot spot for campers and old ladies. Usually the outside crowd is pretty laid back, but lately it's just been a glorified trash bin.

Just when I thought I had seen everything, a table snaps their fingers at me and calls "mita!" Of course, our area is densely populated with Spanish speaking people, so I turned around and said "I'll be right with you" as I scribbled orders down for the table I was currently talking to. If this wasn't enough, they then played musical chairs for several minutes until getting the right seat and placement. I greeted them, took their drink order, rang in their orders correctly, and then went to the kitchen to make their sodas. On the way inside, one of the men at the table asked me to bring a ramekin of warm milk out. When I asked why, he showed me a tiny kitten curled up in a shirt on the table. I suggested he go down to the pet store around the complex to buy a bottle of kitten formula, but he insisted he knew what he was doing with the milk. Thinking of my tip and the price of their bill, I got him the milk.

When I returned to the table after the entrees were run, one of the guests mentioned that his rice didn't come with his meal, so I offered to just get him the side of rice. He shouts "I don't want these vegetables touching my steak!" I took his steak back to the kitchen to have it replated without the veggies. Out it went. When I got back to the table, Mr. I know how to be a good server though I'm a shitty guest complained that there was no silverware. I dropped down 5 rollups, then in his fit of rage, he managed to knock over two beverages on to his lap. What do they do? They get up from this table and go over to another table in my section, leaving a dirty table behind that I now have to clean up before I can be resat. These geniuses then complained that they didn't like the breaded shrimp, so I offered to bring out some grilled ones. They agreed, and then right after I rang them in, they cancelled the order. I figured at this point it wasn't worth upsetting my other guests over, so I just flat out ignored them until the check time came. The check turned out to be $52, in which they handed me a $100 bill. They asked for $45 in change. I thanked them for their business. I don't need their money.

On top of that incident, I also got sat with the same woman who fell asleep in a co-workers section last week. She ordered a salad with about 8 lines of special modifications, ate 3 large ramekins of balsamic glaze dressing, and then ordered a hot tea. She left me $3 on $10, so that was okay. I'd much rather deal with the sleepyhead lady than the table full of guys who only speak English when they want to complain.