I love old ladies...okay I'm lying...

Yesterday was almost like an amusement park ride on the verge of breaking down. Our restaurant was surprisingly very busy for the first time in weeks on a lunch shift. Of course, being that it's graduation time, families are bringing their graduate out for a nice free dessert and a birthday turned into graduation song.

My day started off with the kisses of death themselves. I had just dropped a check on a table and went to greet my new table. Usually when you greet a table, you take a drink and appetizer/soup order. These were the slow answering type who didn't quite know what they wanted. I tried to take just the drink order, but they wouldn't let me leave. I had to sit there and read through the menu with the mother/wife of this family because apparently nobody else at this table knew how to read, not even the graduation boy. The table who I just left the check for needed change of $100 so I had to actually get another server to break the change for me at the bar while this family asked me what came with what and how much everything was even though the prices were in front of their face.

This family ordered steaks for the parents, shrimp in a basket, and a cheeseburger for the kids. I repeated the order back not one, but three times in order to verify what they were ordering was what they really wanted. Sometimes you have to do things like that when someone asks how many ounces each steak are, and how many shrimp come in a basket, if fries are extra on a burger platter, etc. Anyhow, I had three other tables to take care of, so I got their order in and went about my business. These kind of folks are priceless. They consist of kids who don't know how to read the menu themselves, parents who order for their teenagers, and then the wife who orders for the husband and the really sweet and nice husband who can't thank you enough. This wicked witch of a wife called me over to the table every single time I stepped foot into my section. Actually, she didn't call me, she waved her hand and snapped her fingers. After their food had come out, she says to me "I asked for no mushrooms on this steak." So i replied back, no you didn't, I repeated the order three times. You had four chances to tell me that you didn't want mushrooms." In actuality, she probably didn't even read the menu or know what she was ordering. She ordered the largest steak with shrimp combo that we had and had the steak cooked well done. She also complained about the size of the steak. After that incident she snapped her fingers and waved her hands again like she was hailing a cab. I asked her if I could do anything for her and she asked for the side of shrimp she ordered with one of her kids cheeseburger. I told her again that she didn't order a side of shrimp, just a shrimp basket. Her kid looked at me like he had no idea what was going on. I am not a mind reader, so I asked her if she'd like me to ring in a side of shrimp. She said no, so I left again to do sidework and run food. When I was greeting another table, she was waving like she was having a seizure, so I asked my other table to hang on for a minute. She then asked me to ring in the shrimp. I rang them in but when they came out there were literally six to eight shrimps. She complained about the price so I got my manager to greet the table. Then they were fine and dandy...or so I thought.

When I dropped the check, the lady handed me $5. The bill was already at $58. She then asks me to ring in a shrimp basket dinner to go. I gave her a new bill which came out to $68. She paid with a credit card and left nothing extra.

To top that incident off, I got sat with 5 old ladies who complained about the size of the booth. Unfortunately we were on a wait so I couldn't shift them to the other side of the restaurant. They ordered 5 waters with lemons, a pitcher of water with lemons, and 5 bacon cheeseburgers with sauteed onions. Sauteed onions are an upcharge of a measly 75 cents. When I came back with the 5 waters with lemons, one of the ladies says to me "No! I want my cup filled with this much ice and this much water!" So I came back with a glass filled to the top with ice and probably a few ounces of water. I also brought them the pitcher of water which they were very thankful for.

When their food came out they were in heaven. They were chowing down on those burgers like you've never seen someone eat. I swore they were going to eat the wax paper and the burger plate. I asked them how everything was and they said "Absolutely delicious" "Wonderful" "Thank you so much" and other kind words. When I dropped the check, that was another story.

Their bill couldn't have been more than $43. They complained about the $3.75 total upcharge for the sauteed onions on the burger. Then I heard comments like "Those onions weren't even cooked!" "They weren't very good" and other sob stories. My manager didn't want to deal with them, so he comped off the onions. Their bill was now under $40. They did tip me okay, but it was quite the pain ringing in 5 burgers with onions that had to be well cooked and melted under the cheese. After they left I went in the garbage area and saw that those onions were in fact cooked and melted in. Anything to save a buck.